Okay...I need to make this post and hopefully some of this chit in my head will start to make some sense. So the scales stopped moving even tho I was counting 1200 calories per week. The gyms foxy challenge starts on monday and the 12 WBT the monday after. In relation to food plans..i will do slims 1500 calories next week...and it really depends how well i do on that. If i go well I will stay doing it..if I falter i will revert to the 12WBT eating plan (when i registered for this i was interested more in the mind set stuff then her food plans)
As most know I have a achilles issue...it has improved a lot and i would say it is at 85% better. When i went to my last physio appointment...i mentioned i wanted to go back to running..my concern was whether the achilles could handle it. So she said we will record you running and assess it and go from there. Turns out when i run my knees go in as the muscles arent strong enough. So have now been told no running or jogging at least for the moment. Anyway i was pissed off about it....seems like there is constantly a issue with my feet (and now lets extend it up to my legs!) Anyway after the scales not shifting, then this foot issue, then what really broke the camels back (and this is so pathetic its nearly funny) was i missed the bus for my PT session on monday nite. Was my own fault...didnt realise they had changed the bus times...but in that moment i thought the entire world was against me...spat it...cancelled not only my PT session but also my physio session and then didnt go to the gym at all. By tuesday I was in the foulest mood...had gone off track...and didnt go to weigh in that night. Wednesday I also didnt go to the gym....I had a doc appointment.....and he's a lovely doctor dont get me wrong....but he tells me....cos of the weight you did get up too...without liposuction there is always going to be pockets of fat you will never get rid off...and you may not get into the healthy weight range and if you do....it will be a real battle. Well...when for 4.5 years your eye has been focused on getting to the healthy weight range to be told that SUCKS...and i know people have said...its not up to anyone else to decide whether i will or wont get in the healthy weight range...but that level of self doubt now is very hard to get out of my brain. Its like what has been my goal has been ripped out from under me....and yes it doesnt mean it WONT happen...but i'm never a overly confident person anyway....and it feels like something I am working towards is highly unlikely to occur. Im completely in a foul mood over all this....not just one thing....its the accumulation of it all...i wish i could just snap out of this.
Tomorrow nite is the launch of the foxy challenge...ill go do a lil cardio then go to it...maybe it will inspire me and get me to refocus on what I need to focus on!